theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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