Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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