they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
