Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There r osticjed everywhere
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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