You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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