you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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