I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
