i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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