seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize