ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
