My room smells like vodka and shame
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
