I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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