Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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