But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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