K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
