weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
