I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
