Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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