He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
