Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
