Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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