I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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