I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
