hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
