I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wish my penis had a tongue
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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