not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
