I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
