between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
