I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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