does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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