The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
