it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
