ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
