My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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