I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize