I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
