Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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