I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize