ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
