i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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