I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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