We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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