It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
two words...techno handjob
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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