Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
