Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I need a beard to bite.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
