I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
