I'm drive I can fine osifer
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
