white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
