): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
