I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize