All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
