Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
