Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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