I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
