btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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