oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize