does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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