very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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