I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
