Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think my moral compass just broke
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize