moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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